We had a lovely day together as a family. The guys and the grandchildren fixed a scrumptious dinner for us, and we finished off the day with fresh strawberry shortcake. But even as I celebrated with my daughter, Amy and her sweet family, I found myself thinking about how many should be sitting around our family's table. I wondered what this day would be like if Scott had not died. Especially today, I found myself longing to feel his hug one.more.time.
Yet, with this burden of grief, my heart finds comfort tonight in the imagery of Psalm 85:10. There the psalmist speaks of a healing place where “Mercy and Truth have met each other: Justice and Peace have kissed.”
Each element ~ truth, justice, mercy, and peace ~ brings perspective and potential for experiencing peace with loss.
For those who grieve, Truth is about what to remember and how to remember. Truth casts her eyes toward the past, remembers the way it was before the loss, and underscores the value of treasuring my relationship with Scott. Justice is about what can be done now to restore wholeness in my life and renew the relationship that has been forever changed by death. Justice looks at the present and recognizes the full weight of grief. I am so thankful the psalmist did not stop with Truth and Justice, but included Mercy and Peace.
For Mercy and Peace look to the future and help me consider ~
How can I live without Scott in my life?Yes, Mercy and Peace gaze toward the future and what life can and will be like as a result of this loss.
How can I transform my relationship with Scott from one of presence to one of memory?
I love the way John Paul Lederach writes about this imagery in his book, The Journey Toward Reconciliation ~
For Truth without Mercy is blinding and raw; Mercy without Truth is a cover-up and superficial. Justice without Peace falls easily into cycles of bitterness and revenge; Peace without Justice is short-lived and benefits only the privileged or the victors.As another Mother's Day comes to a close, I recognize that along my journey of grief some days will be harder than others. Some days will scream for Truth and Justice. I am also aware that there is a healing place where the reality of my loss is embraced by Mercy and transformed by Peace.
And for that, I am ever so grateful.
2 comments:
Wow, my first time to your blog, and I am weeping...I am Rob Wag's Aunt, and I stumbled upon this accidently through FB...although I believe God brought me here for another reason. Thank you for your Godly insight!
Thank you, Barbara, for your kind words. I'm glad God spoke to you through my post.
By the way, any Aunt of Rob's must be a wonderful person! We love Rob and Kim!
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